Between the last post and this has lapsed three weeks of struggle, but I recently experienced catharsis.
A little over a year ago I experienced “staff reduction” on the part of my former employer. It was cathartic for both parties, I suppose. I’ve never not had a job when I wanted one heretofore, so I wasn’t too concerned. My efforts had always been sought because of an inexplicable knack for solving problems (sometimes very esoteric ones). It usually started something like this–
Somebody in Sales would field an inquiry about a problem. The inquirer may have searched high and low for the answer and all but given up. The inquiry would be broadcast over the company ‘intranet’ (which was sometimes also referred to as ‘the coffee pot’) and I would respond, “I’d like to have a look.” This has been going on for my entire post-collegiate life, something like thirty-six years. I used to laugh about it because it sometimes seemed like people didn’t gain much confidence from me saying, “I’d like to have a look,” like I was going to be just another sidewalk superintendent or something. Usually desperation won out and they’d grudgingly let me have that look I wanted.
The world is full of difficult problems that somebody urgently needs solved, and I had plenty of contacts from previous projects, so I figured it would be automatic… I sent out a few dozen emails letting folks know I was available and ask if there was anything for me to look at. There have been a few projects, like Resonant Line Redux, but mostly it’s been plenty of non-billable time.
The one exception has been a difficult design project for a low profile antenna. It seems that, beyond the shear challenge of the design itself, I have experienced all kinds of delays, roadblocks and disasters. The last one was when I ended up paying about twice what I thought fair and waiting about three times as long as I wanted for some prototype parts to be machined. Meanwhile, the rest of life was SNAFU, SUSFU, FUBAR, TARFU & BOHICA. The world and all its inhabitants seemed just plain hostile to me.
Then last week I realized: Of course the world is hostile! The world’s ‘hostility’ is a direct result of every living thing making choices in order to survive! The thought was cathartic, in the purgative sense. So, now I expect hostility and hardship, because that’s just part of every thing in the world getting on with life. But I don’t have to “hold it” for them.
Ah-h-h-h… cartharsis…
Antenna Guru 
I agree that we live in a world where everyone who is out for survival is hostile. I have recently been thinking about this same concept but from a different perspective. Why is everyone hostile? What is it that they seek? Why spend an entire life trying to gain, fame, fortune or other things you can’t take with you? What if you focused on somewhere other than the here and now. I believe undoubtably that we are created beings. Some other being created us for some other purpose. So why? Is it really to live then die? Maybe there is somewhere else for us to go. In every belief system there is some sort of life after death. There must be some truth to this if every person seeks is. So what is it? When I think of religions I ponder about the idea of survival. Almost every religion has some sort of goal to survive. Live or die for the name of …?… However, most of them focus on self survival and self achievement. Except for one! Christianity teaches that it is better to give than receive, better to love than to hate, better to spend on others than to save for self. It truly has no concept of self survival, instead it teaches self sacrifice. Why is this? Why is there less focus on here and now, and more on there and later? I know it is because Christianity in the right way, the only way and I pray that everyone who reads this knows this too.