The Art and Craft of Love

I love my wife, Debi. She’s my best friend in this whole world, but that’s not what this is about. This is about how I love my wife.

I carry a field notebook so that I can jot down designs, thoughts, notions, numbers, and groceries. Here is an entry from last week…

I have been knowing you now for two years.

It has now come to the point where I hang onto everything you do –The concept of not liking something you do is meaningless to me– if you do it, I love it.

“If you do it, I love it.”

If you do it, I want to know about it, so I can appreciate you more.

I enjoy unpacking your mannerisms. It’s like Christmas morning to a child, except it’s every morning, every afternoon, every evening … of every day.

I first noticed this attitude during love-making… If you do it, I love it. So everyday life is like making love now.

You are sitting & talking to K___ with your legs propped onto my lap and I am turned on!

“I love you” is less descriptive than “You are my life now.”

You are my life now.

All your warts, all your scars, all your aches & pains.

The way you clasp your hands, the way your toenail polish goes only half-way down your toenails.

So life is like making love and making love is like prayer.

Praying is like conversation.

Conversation is like life.

Being – simply being – with you (when I am aware of it) gives me butterflies in my chest.

A couple separate events caused me to decide to share this:

  1. I discovered Debi sharing the journal entry with a friend. When I asked her why she would share my private note with another she explained, “I wanted her to know what it is like to be loved.”
  2. I happened to read a review for the couple’s how-to book, Slow Sex. (I chuckled at one reviewer’s comment, “Just not feeling it right now.” You can’t make this stuff up!)

We bought the book, by the way… (;

I love to make things; I love craft. It turns out that making a relationship is very much a craft (the way we do it, at least). The cool thing about my wife is that she too is passionate about crafting our relationship.

I hope everyone would know what it is like to be loved.

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Crying in the Wilderness

So they said to him, “Who are you? We need an answer! What do you have to say for yourself?”

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